I'm Back

I feel good. I think I am back to my normal self. Finally! As most of you that read my blog know the past seven months have been rough on us. Last October we finally decided to try for our last baby and got pregnant first try only to find out a couple of weeks later that I was miscarrying. It was really hard on me. I felt bad about feeling bad because we have three happy, healthy kids and some people don't get any. How could I be upset about that? I finally let myself grieve the lost and we decided to try again. This time took longer which was very frustrating. I can't imagine going through this for years trying to have a baby. I definitely have a new ache in my heart for women that have trouble having babies (that sounds odd but I have no other words that describe how I feel). Then finally I was nine days late. I took several test that came back negative but after some blood work we found I was pregnant but something wasn't right the numbers were abnormally low. Before I could get back in to the Dr. to do more testing I started to miscarry. This time I thought I was going to handle it better. I did for a week or two and then I broke down. I am better now. I thought this month would be really hard because this is when we would have delivered the first one, but I am handling it. I know it is because of prayers. So thank you to everyone who has been praying for us and thank you for all your kind words. I'm sure it wasn't the easiest thing to talk about. My Dr. is confident we will still be able to have a healthy pregnancy. Next time she wants to do some extra testing to make sure everything is right. That is if we decide we want to try again. It is a very scary thing to think about. So we still need prayers for that. I am so glad I feel better. So no more tears (hopefully). I am going to enjoy the life God has blessed me with and look forward to what ever God has planned for us now.